therealestthingheknew:

carbombgoesboom:

therealestthingheknew:

sexwithawalrus:

plot twist Zach Parise waits until opening night to announce he’s retiring to nebraska to pursue his dream as a corn farmer.

Plot twist Parise signs a 20 year deal to play in the KHL

plot twist: Parise signs a contract to my bed.

You better have a no trade clause in there too

please, there’s gonna be a chained-to-my-bed clause in there.